I Feel Like Shit...

I don't know how its possible for you to make me feel like this. I don't know how I allow you to.

It may be because you are the one person that I trust to have my back. But you're never there.

Instead, you bring me down in ways that you don't even know.

Imagine answering a call and hearing that familiar voice of your friend, only to hear them asking for the other Ong brother. I'm not saying its your fault, but you were involved in one way or another. Yes, this was many many years ago, but I remember every single detail. This definitely instilled trust problems in me.

There's a fine line when a joke turns into criticism, and you cross it almost, if not every single time. All just to entertain others. I know I'm fat. But there's no point in criticizing my weight or anything that's related to it. There's also no point parading around in public saying that I look like the pigs hanging on the banners. I may be laughing, but I'm hurting really bad deep inside. I can't believe you can't see it through my forced smile. Maybe you do realize it, and choose not to care.

I know you're the popular one. You have so many appointments that if you were to stay home on Friday and Saturday nights, you'd die. There's no point rubbing it into my face by saying that I have no friends.

I've reached my limit for the day. I need some rest to try and stitch up the wound before I bleed to death. But I'm sure you're going to reopen the wound soon enough. Besides, that's the only way I'm useful to you right?



P.S. Sorry for the darkness of the blog so far. Its just not a good time right now.